I haven't looked at this since February - I think that is because the days have been longer and the nights shorter during the summer. It could be that I have just been avoiding stuff - life and all.
I am dysfunctional and lost on an emotional level - that whole you know who your friends are scenario. Having twins is very isolating - possibly having a child at 38 is isolating - I can't say coz I have two, and as much joy as they give me - things are hard.
I always wanted to be a super mum - having been surrounded, during my formative years by amazing women that seemed to conduct their lives and those of people around them with ease and grace.
We are in the poverty trap - council tenants in a property that is just to small (a two bed maisonette) and there are 5 of us, we share our room with the twins and my daughter has the other room.
I would love to move, but it is never that simple - I moved in as a single parent - the condition of the flat wasn't great but I was thank full to have a home and have put up with it as I didn't qualify for any grants to help with decorating.
Things of course have changed and now if you don't leave your property in good condition you get fined. The motivation is that if the property is in good decorative repair when you leave it then you will get 100.00 as a thank you from Tandridge (lol) - even a small property like ours it will cost us more than that to freshen up the paint, make good and remove the carpet (where we have managed to get carpet) - and clear the garden that I can't get to - a curious thing about long term council tenants is that they seem to be unaware of property boundaries - or at least this is the case with my neighbour - she seems to believe that our garden is an extension of hers - other neighbours thought that fruit and veg, that I grew, was there for them - the sort of behaviour that encourages me to rush out and spend time out there.
Besides I am yet to work out how to get my toddlers down stairs and in to my garden (very overgrown) and keep them safe while I clear the space.
and when I have solved all of this there are so few 3 bed properties that we may not be able to move anyway.
I am just a grumpy old bag - resentful that it all seems to be down to me. - don't get me wrong I know it isn't, and I know that my husband goes off to work and my daughter goes out to school
I just seem to be buried under an ever increasing pile of washing and recycling........
If the car tyres need air or cat shit needs clearing up these are jobs that seem to be mine. Being a housewife isn't as glamorous as those old movies make it out to be.
I am dysfunctional and lost on an emotional level - that whole you know who your friends are scenario. Having twins is very isolating - possibly having a child at 38 is isolating - I can't say coz I have two, and as much joy as they give me - things are hard.
I always wanted to be a super mum - having been surrounded, during my formative years by amazing women that seemed to conduct their lives and those of people around them with ease and grace.
We are in the poverty trap - council tenants in a property that is just to small (a two bed maisonette) and there are 5 of us, we share our room with the twins and my daughter has the other room.
I would love to move, but it is never that simple - I moved in as a single parent - the condition of the flat wasn't great but I was thank full to have a home and have put up with it as I didn't qualify for any grants to help with decorating.
Things of course have changed and now if you don't leave your property in good condition you get fined. The motivation is that if the property is in good decorative repair when you leave it then you will get 100.00 as a thank you from Tandridge (lol) - even a small property like ours it will cost us more than that to freshen up the paint, make good and remove the carpet (where we have managed to get carpet) - and clear the garden that I can't get to - a curious thing about long term council tenants is that they seem to be unaware of property boundaries - or at least this is the case with my neighbour - she seems to believe that our garden is an extension of hers - other neighbours thought that fruit and veg, that I grew, was there for them - the sort of behaviour that encourages me to rush out and spend time out there.
Besides I am yet to work out how to get my toddlers down stairs and in to my garden (very overgrown) and keep them safe while I clear the space.
and when I have solved all of this there are so few 3 bed properties that we may not be able to move anyway.
I am just a grumpy old bag - resentful that it all seems to be down to me. - don't get me wrong I know it isn't, and I know that my husband goes off to work and my daughter goes out to school
I just seem to be buried under an ever increasing pile of washing and recycling........
If the car tyres need air or cat shit needs clearing up these are jobs that seem to be mine. Being a housewife isn't as glamorous as those old movies make it out to be.
